Today is the 17th of September 2016. I am twenty-two. I woke up around one. Past the time of ten which the event I had wanted to go to had started. H— L— G— was talking at M—. I went to school, took a shower in the gym locker room, ate paella, and went on the computer. For fifteen hours. Playing pokemon. 15 Hours. 15. Fifteen.
When I got up to take a drink early in the day ≈ 2 I remembered a particularly embarrassing episode with Anna at dinner. I mimicked putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger. Saying "I hate myself, I hate myself" I had no fork or knife/spoon to eat the paella with so I just ate the chicken on top first.
Then when I got hungry again I went to the vending machine and got chive and cheese crackers (75¢) and a dr pibb (75¢). It said on the packaging it was spiced-cherry flavored. I never noticed that before. I thought it was interesting. When I got hungry again a couple hours later I used a paper plate to shovel the food into my mouth until it got too soggy and couldn't hold anymore food.
The reason I didn't have plastic utensils was because L— at the school was closed. They are supposed to charge 20¢ per piece and I thought that if they were open, I would buy a soda, something to drink and ask for a fork. When I got hungry again I got a granola bar (75¢) and pop-tarts (1.25). I used my spare change because all the bills I have are too large.
I ran into this guy who works at the library in the building. He stayed there until 10pm even though the place closed at ten. He startled me because he came through the door on the way to the vending mach. He ordered Chinese food. He said:
"You must be the only other person here" -"Yup"
"You scared me" I said. He laughed.
I kept playing and playing. Only stopping to eat. Go to the bathroom (twice). I ate the same plate of paella three times till it was gone. I feel sick. I've got this swollen lymph/tonsil on the left side of my neck. I think it might be a "phantom lump" though. Though that's probably because there's a pokemon called phantlump. I think it's supposed to be a pumpkin. I talked to L— and G— on the phone. About their days, movies, etc. Memes.
When I left an hour ago, all of the schools parking lots were dark and I thought "If I was ever to have been successful in anything I would have known or at least tried to work harder" sitting in bed I think about the people who are so ahead of me. Here I am. Wasting my time. I think past a certain age I didn't want to give up the things I liked, some of the only things that brought me any joy. Though that isn't so rare to find among people, I decided to keep both work and play. "When I was no longer a child I put away childish things" was what came to mind. All day I listened to (in order) to the best of my recollection.
Electric Light Orchestra
King of Limbs from the Basement
In Rainbows from the Basement
Justice's new song -which sucked
Prince -Purple Rain and 1/2 of 1999
Hotline Bling and D.R.A.M.
Hank Williams
Patsy Cline
I don't know why
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